Negativity and Distrust

Negativity and Distrust, these two terms are very much related to each other. Negativity leads to distrust and sometimes distrust comes first and that leads to many negative thoughts. This is a kind of reinforcing relationship in which one reinforces the other. Negativity and distrust go side by side. One of the paradoxical issues which amuse me is that, no one wants to be distrusted by others, but everybody is filled with a certain amount of negativity and distrust in him/her. If you can not trust others then how can you expect them to trust you? In my opinion a cynical person who can not trust anybody is also not trustworthy. Negative people are dangerous.

Everybody says “I can not trust anybody around me. Everybody around me is cunning and people are sufficiently selfish to make use of you. So if you want to survive in this world then you ought to be sufficiently selfish and cunning or in one word “Practical””. This is how negativity and distrust spread. Negativity is a kind of virus which proliferates itself and in a short span of time engulfs the entire society.

A question which perturbs me at this point of time is, when a person says “I can not trust anyone around me, and I have to be “Practical” to survive in this society”, then the most probable reasons behind this kind of scenario could be

• Concerned person must have been deceived on numerous occasions which made him reluctant to trust anyone,

Or

• Concerned person must have misinterpreted other’s actions, which made him disbelieve those people and hence leading to generalization of his opinion for the whole community.

So if everybody keeps on saying that “I can not trust anybody”, then who are the trust-breakers??

If you talk to the people who are classified as “trust-breakers”, it turns out that even they have the same opinion about you as well as the community. Now again we are back at square one, i.e. “whom do we classify as the trust breakers?” And what could have been the motivation for those people to break the trust of others??

In my opinion trust-breakers were not born as trust-breakers, there were some motivational forces which forced them to break the trust of others, those motivational forces were Selfishness, Insecurity, Scrutiny, Ego, high Expectations, Jealousy, Greed, Anger, short-sightedness and Materialistic Behavior. These are those destructive emotions which made people to keep their personal interests, Ego, feeling of revenge, Lack of Patience at higher priorities even at the cost of downfall of others, which made other people to distrust them. Unfortunately the destructive emotions which I have listed out are a part of human nature. Physical defects may be rectified by medical aids but these human-emotional-defects can not be rectified by medical aids, they can only be rectified by the will of the person himself. Sometimes people find these destructive emotions helpful and lucrative but this is the result of short-sightedness. These destructive emotions always lead to failure in long term. Short-term gains might lead to long-term pains. Most of the times people either remain unaware or feel themselves so comfortable with these emotions that they keep on breaking trust of others for their personal interests and blame others for their failures.

“When things go wrong, negative people start a blame game.”

People with these destructive emotions initiate distrust and negativity and other people become the victims of those. Now this is how negativity and distrust spread. People with weak integrity fall prey to the escalating “success” of such trust-breakers or their own incompetence to rise to the occasion (because they find the trust-beakers to be in majority) so they also join the band wagon. On the other hand people with strong integrity are fewer in number. They understand that negativity and distrust and other such emotions are futile and hence always condemn and protest against these things. But unfortunately in the current society a person who is cynical and looks at everything with a negative attitude is labeled as “Practical” besides being rewarded and appreciated and this is the law of nature that deeds which are rewarded, repeats themselves. In this way negativity and distrust spread.

Most of the people say that they have seen such cases of negativity and distrust and they themselves have been victims several times, so they can not trust anyone now. These kind of people generally feel that they are using their negativity and distrust in their defense because they think that people around them are always ready to rob them, but they never realize that this negativity initiates a feeling of selfishness, insecurity, greed, lack of patience, materialism in them which further makes people around them, victims. In this way negativity and distrust spread.

Materialism, Selfishness, Greed etc. further initiate many other things like Hypocrisy, Diplomacy, Cynicism etc. Materialism, leads to need based or Give-and-Take relationships which motivate people to become Hypocrites and Diplomats to gain favor of other people so that they can get work out of them. But people never realize that other people can always see through fake smiles, and can catch your negativity towards them. This kind of materialistic feeling may be useful to them in short-term, but that is not everlasting for sure. When people find and smell your materialistic behavior then either they also start behaving with you in the same way if you are useful to them or they reject you if you are not useful or they reject you because they don’t like such kind of materialistic behavior.

There are certain Laws of nature, one of which is “every action has an equal and opposite reaction” so if you are negative and do not trust anyone then you also will not be trusted by anyone. You reap what you sow, if you spread negativity then one day you will receive the same. Negative people are always in search of something flaws in everything. Their negative attitude becomes so strong that they fail to appreciate anything even if it deserves. These kinds of people are also criticized by others. Such people promote individualism because of their lack of trust. They spread negativity and create or increase voids between people, and they do not realize that the negativity which they have filled inside people around them slowly starts going even against them.

Second Law of nature is, “We do not think what we want to think, but rather our thinking is governed by our true character”. In my childhood I often used a statement “Jo Jaisa Hota Hai, Wo Vaisa Hi Sochta Hai”. But at that time I couldn’t understand the hidden real meaning of this statement. Now I realize how true this statement is. On a given situation everyone interprets and take conclusions on it according to his true character and thinking. For a same thing somebody might have a very good opinion and somebody else might have a bad opinion. Same person might seem very good to some people and bad, selfish and shrewd to others. It all depends on perspective. Nobody is born with a positive or negative attitude; it’s the cumulative effect of environment around a person and integrity, which makes his/her thinking positive or negative.

Everything in this world happens for a reason. Positive people assume a positive reason behind everything, negative people negative. If you talk to a positive person then he will assume that you want to be his friend, but if you talk to a negative person then he will assume that you are expecting something out of him and want to make your work out him. If you help a positive person then his trust and affection towards you increases, while if you help a negative person then he will think that you are doing this because you are expecting something, and he treats your help as a materialistic obligation and tries to pay it back as soon as possible. Negative people always assume a negative reason even if you are trying to help them selflessly. Negative people are always in search of opportunities when they can do something for you so that they can take it back later. Negativity reinforces materialism, which leads to need based or give and take relationships. Negative people always assume some negative reason which leads to distrust and can not ever have a good relationship with anyone. Positive people assume positive reasons, trust people, which lead to good relationships. Trust is the basic foundation of a good relationship. Diplomatic, Materialistic, Hypo-critic attitude can not lead to a good relationship. If you don’t trust people then that distrust will drift away people from you, which will ultimately lead to loneliness, unhappiness.

Third law of nature, “we attract to ourselves not what we want but what we are” (Birds of the same feather, flock together). In every community and society people of similar genre form a group. Successful people attract successful people, optimistic attracts optimists, negative minded or pessimistic attracts pessimists. Successful people discuss their ideas and experiences and try to improve, optimistic people discuss about the beauty of this world and appreciate whatever they have and how can it be increased, on the other hand negative people try to find out limitations in everything, criticize people, are always in search of something bad in people, always discuss about the limitations of the systems but never try to contribute anything to improve it, and ultimately promotes this negativity in the environment. Negative people pre-assume that everybody is selfish and bad. This is a kind of cynical thinking which promotes materialism.

Negativity is responsible for the subjectivity of correctness. Correctness is objective, it has never been subjective. That’s why most of the contradictions occur; everybody thinks that he/she is correct, and then we have to find out what is correct and what is more correct. Generally people don’t find problem in differentiating between right and wrong, but the real challenge comes when we have to differentiate between correct and more correct. Since objectivity of correctness is mentioned nowhere and correct rules are specified nowhere, then who can decide what is correct and what is not?? Now this is again one more debatable issue. Here subjectivity of correctness comes into account, since ultimate truth or correctness is nowhere specified so people consider themselves correct until they are contradicted by some more correct logic, then they mould their philosophy by the new more correct logic until that new more correct logic is contradicted by much more correct logic, but still it is not necessary that a person reaches to ultimate correctness after being contradicted for many times because the new logic which contradicted the previous logic might also be incomplete of less correct but is appearing apparently more correct under current knowledge and circumstances, but still

“Correctness is Objective, and it’s not easy to achieve correctness.”

In my opinion judgment which comes out of the conscience of a well educated person is correct. Now one more question arises, we all “call” ourselves educated but still contradictions occur, if we are educated and we are able to differentiate between correct and more correct then why do contradictions occur?? The reason is, there are two kinds of people literate and educated. A literate is a person who just knows how to read and write, but Educated is a person who doesn’t only know how to read and write but also incorporates whatever he learns from books, in his life. By following transitivity we can say that whatever given in a “good” book is correct. If there are contradictions between two persons they there two possibilities arises

• One of them is less correct and other one is more correct and the first person due to his Ego and Rigidity do not want to accept that he is wrong or,
• Both the persons are incorrect and they are fighting with their wrong misconceptions and both are trying to impose each other’s belief on each other.

Here I would like to say,

“Reason behind all the problems is Incomplete Knowledge”.

One important point which came out above is, “Ego and Rigidity are hurdles in learning. These two things blocks the way of knowledge.”

“If everyone has complete knowledge and understands the objectivity of correctness then there will be no contradictions.”

-- By Me.

There are two things Negativity and Pessimism. These two terms look very similar, but are very different from each other; there is a huge difference between being pessimistic and being negative. Negativity is thinking negatively about people, about community, about everything. Negativity is driven by superiority, personal interests, Selfishness, Insecurity, Greed, Anger, Ego, high Expectations, Lack of patience and Materialistic behavior etc and leads to distrust. On the other hand, pessimism is imagining the worst side also and be prepared for it. Sometimes pessimism is good because it gives you opportunity to imagine the worst side and be prepared, because many things are out of our control and are not determined, we can not say or pre-assume that everything will be fine and don’t do anything or be prepared for the unfavorable situations, but one should not be driven by pessimism because if you always imagine about worst situations then either you won’t try or you will be stuck in the preparation for the worst cases and that will become a cause of failure, on the same way one should also not be driven by optimism because most of the things are out of our control we can not move ahead by taking a positive assumption about them. On the other hand Negative people always scrutinize the actions of others try to find out limitations on everything, and this kind of negativity make them feel superior than others. Most of the negative people suffer from superiority complex, because they always criticize everyone and find themselves up, if you destroy everyone’s building in the town then automatically your building will be the tallest one, this is the inherent motivation for the negative people.

Pessimism is a kind of cowardice. Pessimistic people pre-assume many things like if I do this then this will happen, If I do that then that will happen, and never do anything and find them on safer side and they say that prevention is better than cure. There are two things action or inaction, and needless to explain inaction is more expensive than action in long term. If we had pre-assumed before our freedom that if we fight for freedom then these will be complicacies, we will have to struggle a lot, many people will die and so on and so forth then we wouldn’t have even tried to fight for it. Success can never be achieved with a negative attitude. Sometimes we may have to be unreasonable, because if we stuck in reasoning then we might never try.

There are three kinds of people, two are hypothetical and one is real in current world, one who is totally optimistic, one who is totally pessimistic, and last one is a combination of both. In this case totally optimistic and totally pessimistic people are hypothetical in my opinion. Third one is the person who has both pessimistic and optimistic opinions in his mind. He speculates both optimistic and pessimistic opinions in two different threads, and keeps on going with both of those two. Now on the basis of fact whether that person gives higher weight to the optimistic thread or the pessimistic thread, he is considered as optimistic or pessimistic. But one thing is sure both the extremes ends of optimism and pessimism are bad. Both optimists and pessimists contribute to this society, optimists make aero-planes and pessimists make parachutes.

Now one question which is coming to my mind at this point of time is, is it possible to have no negativity? What is the importance of negative people?? Why did god give those kind of destructive emotions to man??

Answer of these questions in my opinion are simple, in current world it is really very difficult to have no negativity, some people use their negativity for the destruction of others and others use it for their defense, but everyone has certain amount of negativity in him/her, which leads to distrust and distrust can not be a foundation of a good and healthy relationship. Actually negativity is increasing because of increasing level of corruption. Now again same question arises who is responsible for the increasing level of corruption?? It’s us and our destructive emotions. Now second question, if you are traveling on a straight road since a long time and distance, then journey will become very boring unless there are some turns and variations in the journey it will remain boring, similar concept applies to this case also, if everybody is good optimistic, “truly educated”, then life will become like we are traveling on a straight road and it will become very boring. But as we know that downfall is the final destination of every height so everything should be in control and limits.